A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!! % Barbie is a slut. % All your base *are* belong to us! % 1:1.618 % 137 % Faith is not enough. I worship Chaos. % Whistle while you work Dubya is a twerp He's half barmy so's his army Whistle while you work % All I know is that when I was five I saw a TV programme about the decline of civilization and I knew I wanted to be part of that. % Be cool. Don't panic. Chaos is good. Chaos creates infinite possibilities. % She was an Eloi. The Morlocks ate her. % Once I got home, rather than watch the rest of the debate on TV and give myself an aneurism, I just played Call of Duty 4 on Xbox live and killed 14 year olds. It was far more productive. % The entire world will utterly implode and the next thing you know you'll be hanging from bungee cords having a chainsaw duel against a retarded guy with a bucket on his head in the Thunderdome. % As always, the best time to buy more ammo is *now*. % I will be so happy when everyone on earth is a sort of medium-beige, Tiger Woods-y hue so that we can stop worrying about race and unite to persecute those sinister left-handers. % Nobody who kills with a knife wastes time training, they just do it. Tons of aggression and savage fury. % If you need to fight fair, you don't need to fight. % A blogger, a type of writer who slanders others on the internet while wearing sleeping garments. % No law, no common understanding, no rule of civilization will stop these people. If you don't prepare for the consequences, you are a coward and a fool. % You people have been voting for the lesser of two evils for so long that evil is all that's left now. % When the children begin mewling in the dark, who will tell them the truth? % So you see, my dear Coningsby, the world is governed by very different personages from what is imagined by those who are not behind the scenes. % Look, fool: that `glass' metaphor entirely depends on the differences between who's pouring and who's drinking. You don't have to be a moron. Stop it. % They cannot think and for that reason they are not candidates for reason. % I never got into any of this in order to make friends and I don't care whether anyone likes it or not. % I think I now have a new principle of online operations: my job is to do everything I can to ruthlessly shatter hope without reason. % And, precisely because there are no rational principles underpinning any of this, you will never know what they will do to you next. % That's like dueling banjos of stupidity. % That's because your average American these days is a walking, talking rutabaga, with no remotely discernible grasp of the simplest facts more than about thirty days aft of his own ass. % I don't have a Plan. I can think of good advice now and then, though. % Eat what you want and die like a man. % There is truth and beauty in the world. Truth can be beautiful. But truth cannot describe beauty. % The internet? Oh come on. This is a horrible place full of lies, hate, pornography and a billion apostrophes, all in the wrong place. % It doesn't pay to argue with fools. You're already the walking dead. % Onlookers will be moved by your quiet dignity, inner strength, and unflinching resolve. Then your pants will fall down. % It turns out that Andy Warhol overestimated the duration of your fame by about fourteen and a half minutes. % When all is said and done only you can make yourself feel bad. But that won't keep everyone else from trying. % Over the past two days my 401K has been ass raped like a cute prison bitch. % Some scoff at this, that we are now in the afterlife and only imagine earthly existence continues for us. Such denials are typical. % I'm a sensitive new-age guy. I enjoy long walks on the beach, sunsets, candle-lit dinners, AND BLOWING STUFF UP! % `It's not based on any particular data point,' a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com on Tuesday. `We just wanted to choose a really large number.' % I'm going to go crazy and I'm taking you with me. % When the government gets involved, it mandates stupidity, punishes the smart, and then takes their money to give to crack whores. % The rivets look flat in the pic but are actually as round as a corn fed cheerleader's ass. % The narcissist does not need to accept limitations; he can maintain the illusion that he is at the centre of the world. % If you love The Environment so much... why don't you go live there? % The Nazis didn't lose the war, they just had to move... % Yeah, people might run out in the streets, enraged, and burn cars. Oh, wait, they do that in the Paris suburbs every night. % Just because I don't understand any of this doesn't mean I can't talk about it. % Contrary to popular belief most cult members don't live in a compound or wear funny robes - and they aren't all gullible people led by a crazed leader. They're more likely to be your neighbor, the grocery store clerk or even your principal. % We don't cling to God and guns cause we are bitter, we cling to them cause God is, well, God and the guns are for dispatching the zombie hordes. % Our rulers have now embraced, without qualification, the socialist premise that the government's role is to administer an economy based on scarcity. % You know, it would be easier for me to believe this was a crisis if the people in charge were acting like it was a crisis instead of just an opportunity for graft. % Are you sure you don't want your indecision to hold you back? % Don't let your ego get in the way of important friendships this week. You're better than that. Much, much better than that. % Until then, remain calm. It is `only a movie.' % I don't use the phone much because, generally, there is somebody on the other end. % The light of reason is going out but nobody realises they can't see any more because they're too busy daydreaming in their own fantasy world. % I put vodka in my koolaid but not enough to be incoherent. % If it's true, it works! % You and your partner will once again argue over money in bed but then that's what you get for not agreeing to a price beforehand. % PUT THE MESS TO THE TORCH,,,AND SHOOT THEM WHEN THEY COME RUNNING OUT,,,,,, % Shoot the hostage. % Hard times don't last, hard people do. % Multi-ethnic societies are fragile; when they fall apart, everyone loses. % As the saying goes, revolutions eat their children. Then they turn on everyone else. % Politics has great potential for making a bad situation worse, much worse. It can cause war, ethnic cleansing and genocide. Whenever people gather into political organizations, whether voluntarily or forcibly, it is a sign of trouble. % In all, I expect drugs and alcohol to become one of the largest short-term post-collapse entrepreneurial opportunities in the United States, along with asset stripping, and security. % The last remnant of industrial activity is usually the scrap iron business. There seems to be no limit to the amount of iron that can be extracted from a mature post-industrial site. % A PhD is just a license to shoot your mouth off - usually about things you know nothing about - not a designation of wisdom. % My death waits like a bible truth at the funeral of my youth oh weep loud for that - and the passing time... % My death waits to allow my friends a few good times before it ends so let's drink to that and the passing time... % You worry too much - it's always the Apocalypse. % That I even acknowledge your pitiful existence is a boon I may revoke. % Don't misunderstand me. I have nothing against an honest liar but he seems to believe this stuff. I'm not kidding: he needs to be shrink-wrapped and put somewhere safe for the duration. % Let us now praise organized crime - the free-market variety, I mean. The last frontier of freedom. Ain't it weird when you have to depend on criminality for human values? % Try to understand: you're living in an ethical mob-scene; a riot in which there is no sense to the destruction of values and you can never tell when the next animal will come around the corner, club in hand, to beat your brains out and throw you to the maelstrom. % Precisely because there are no rational principles underpinning any of this, you will never know what they will do to you next. % There are today in this country [USA] hundreds of thousands of men, women, and young folks who will not be enslaved - even at the price of their lives. Those are the 3%. They are real. And they will fight. % Cherish your enemies - they teach you the best lessons. % And, my god, the born-again evangelical Christians who are waiting to be sucked up by the Rapture as if by a god-powered Hoovermatic vacuum cleaner. They are serious as melanoma and could give any Muslim sect known a run for its extremism money. % It was 1975, just after the fall of Saigon and I was in Taipei studying Chinese and waiting for the next war, which didn't come. % We're talking wars of religion, boys and girls. Christian loons in the US, Jewish loons in Israel, and Moslem loons widely distributed, all wanting to blow people up because God told them. I want a signed affidavit from God. Or a drink. % As usual, the election is a popularity contest run for dimwits. And to elect a dimwit, which is worse. % A great deal of our nation has never grown up. We have no rites of passage, of manhood, of adulthood. % You'll soon meet your maker which, according to your model number and serial code, is the Globotech Corporation. % If you knew what was coming you wouldn't be wasting valuable time reading your horoscope. % Somewhere, a true believer is training to kill you. % Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. % Misogynist: a man who hates women as much as women hate one another. % It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. % The very definition of news is something that hardly ever happens. If an incident is in the news, we shouldn't worry about it. It's when something is so common that its no longer news - car crashes, domestic violence - that we should worry. % Life should be taken with a large helping of laughter and sufficient firepower to keep it tamed. % We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. % Mine eyes have seen the horror of the voting of the horde. They have looted the fromagerie where the guv'ment cheese is stored... % Why would anyone give a crap what a tattooed bag of Hep C thinks about politics? % I love it when these guys say dumb things. You always knew they were dumb but it's great that they are not afraid to show it. % Like they say in the National Parks, 'Once a bear is hooked on garbage there's no cure.' % You know she was beautiful to you then but now you can only see the ruins of that beauty and you are glad you had the best years. % Sheep have two speeds: Graze and Stampede. % Ere this night does wane, you will drink the black sperm of my vengeance! % I have no interest whatsoever in being a citizen of the world. The world actually sucks. In the world, having indoor plumbing and electricity are signs of disproportionate wealth. Never mind personally owned vehicular travel that is not mammal powered. % To call him dumber than a box of hammers is to risk insulting the intellect of of blunt objects. % Hamsters have exercise wheels. We buy things. % We spend a remarkable amount of time fleeing ourselves. Maybe instead we should build a place we like. % When I ponder our curiously unbalanced civilization, able to put golf carts on Mars but unable to equal the verse of muddy Elizabethan London, I wonder why we are as we are. % Feminists see oppression everywhere, men see urinals. It's a design feature. % Nuke Berkeley. It's where they grow hippies. % Yelling 'shark' and running around in a panic will only get you hurt, especially if you keep doing it at shady pool halls. % Like Dr. Doolittle you've always been able to talk to the animals. Unfortunately this has more to do with your crippling loneliness than any special talent or gift. % They say there's plenty of fish in the sea but everything you catch is either covered in scales, has concentrated levels of mercury or suffers from deep-seated abandonment issues. % Though you are a vindictive, cruel and miserable son of a bitch, you will be rewarded with great happiness and good fortune this week. This is just how the universe works. % When attracting a mate this week, emit several high-pitched calls, display your tail plumage in a colorful fan and avoid getting arrested by horrified zoo officials. % The good news is that all that blood is actually ketchup. The bad news, however, is that all that ketchup is actually blood % Slow progress on your love life has you frustrated. Try some frenzied masturbation. % You've got big ideas but something is stopping you from making them happen. Could it be your utter stupidity? % Communication isn't the same for both sexes. While women like to vocalise their affections, men use actions instead of words. Is he rubbing his groin and pointing? He's interested. % It's a good day for you to get things in order. Remember, it's underpants before trousers. % You have a lot to offer the right, lucky person. And chlamydia for the unlucky. % Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. % She caught him in the kitchen with a cherry pie, masticating furiously. % And the thing about eternity is - it contains an eternity of eternities. So, you can spend an eternity repenting your `shortcomings' followed by an eternity of sitting around singing `kumbya' with all the Christians and assorted hoi-polloi. % Personally, I'm all excited about the big battle between the Whore of Babylon and the giant Dragon. How cool is that gonna be. % Though last Wednesday may not have seemed like much to you, trust me: it was the best day of your life. % Next week, you will suffer a broken heart, or whatever it is you call it when all your aortic valves tear loose at once. % Your wildest dreams are about to come true, much to the horror of your high-school gym teacher, several large pumpkins, and a pair of bedroom handcuffs. % I don't normally do this. % What you reward, you get more of. % What really matters isn't how crazy an idea is, it's working that magic that makes it part of the received wisdom and pushes it into the mainstream. % If the police fired eight rounds into my head as I was boarding a train I would be disappointed but not particularly surprised. For I live in Caracas and the Venezuelan police, like many Latin American police forces, operate British-style death squads. % The only magazines Obama wasn't on the cover of was 'Guns & Ammo' and 'Monster Truck Weekly.' % I can't hear you over the sound of me being so awesome. % Democracy sure takes a lot of police. % Don't let anyone call you a coward this week. Unless, of course, they happen to be much bigger than you. % They say that a little hard work and perseverance never killed anyone but you and your trusty knife are about to prove them wrong. % Dreams can reveal our most secret desires. Pervert. % You're all on crack now. % But there comes a time in every guerrilla's life when he must choose between fire and maneuver and escape and evade. % You dare not let them take you alive. Everyone fights here. % There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation; that's one firearm for every twelve people. The only question is; how do I arm the other eleven? % Everyone dies for what they believe. When you consider that, the way we die for stupid, transparent cant, well... you know, those suicide bombers don't look so bad. % Turns out it's not the ability to reason that separates us from the animals but rather a very thin, very flimsy wire fence. % My own personal moral ambiguity doesn't restrict me from seeing the necessity for others to have to tow the line. % New Orleans needed a bath anyway. I wonder where all the crying and stealing and looting is in Iowa - oh wait - it's full of white people with guns. Never mind. % And you may ask yourself - well... how did I get here? % Hot blonde lesbian action. What could possibly be wrong with that? % I don't understand why, if you don't eat meat, you make tofu look like sausages or burgers. % Fuck it. I'm gonna get me some mangoes. % My chest is aching, burns like a furnace the burning keeps me alive. % Personally, I disagree with your take on dogs and would add that there are over six billion humans on the planet and that most of them aren't worth the bullet it would take to kill them, unlike the majority of dogs I've met. % Detroit is gone. Lost. There are people leaving it and they are even going so far as to dig up their dead relatives from the cemeteries and take them to different cemeteries far away. % Therefore no plan of operations extends with any certainty beyond the first contact with the main hostile force. % Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you But the roses are wilting the violets are dead the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. % Out of touch and feeling like society is out of control, the political class knows that moralising our behaviour is one of the few ways in which it can exercise some influence. % I suspect that most technical achievements in history have started out as, `Here, hold my beer and watch me try this.' % Information is no longer a staff function but an operational one. It is deadly as well as useful. % Decades of trying to make sense of the world will come to an embarrassing end this week when you realize you've been staring at the damn thing upside-down. % Regret will be yours this week when you're forced to choose between a slice of cherry pie and everlasting life. % You're feeling a little worried about what people are saying about you behind your back but why bother when no one even knows you are alive. % Be on your guard for overly flirtatious co-workers. They are desperate and much easier to shag. % Feeling too tired to go out and have some fun? Stay in and masturbate. % Get your finger away from the trigger and the muzzle away from you and then it'll be in a happy place. % What's the worst that can happen. % So... give your loved ones an extra hug, admire the sunshine and flowers in the lane, maybe have an ice cream cone. Treasure these times. You never know when they'll end. % She asked me if bullets came in different sizes. Isn't that that cutest thing you've ever heard? % I bet you are one of those mutant fuckers in the `Hills Have Eyes' movies. % Remember: while resorting to violence is never the answer, starting off with violence almost always is. % One who knows the enemy and knows himself will not be in danger in a hundred battles. % Pink House, you faggot. Always thinking which faggot to vote for. I am voting for Paris Hilton. Faggoty faggot morons. % I'm not seeing the hilarity in it, simply following the same old path trodden by so many before me. I must see new things with new eyes. % To the contrary my learned fellow, your words wound me deeply. I spend hours thinking of how to improve my writing skills just to ease the hurt from your literary assaults. % Our media has diverted all attention concerning Internet censorship towards what is happening in China when the exact same control measures are being put in place right here at home. % Do I look like I have a plan? No, I'm a dog chasing a car if I caught it I'd have no idea what to do with it. I don't plan things I just do. % If you think sex is wonderful now, you should try it with a partner. % You might get away with criticizing the government for stupidity or incompetence but if you even hint at intent or intelligent design on their part you're *one of them* - a Conspiracy Theorist. % Construct a plausible narrative and maintain the moral high ground. Then even things you thought impossible can become real and all sorts of unexpected things can happen. % The only reliable feature of other people is that, however low you set your expectations, they will always disappoint you. % Among animals, it's 'eat or be eaten'; among humans, it's 'define or be defined. % The `success' of government programmes is usually measured by the growth of spending on the programme rather than the outcomes. % If I were walking down the street and came across a crowd of people at the end of your driveway, taking a vote on whether to break into your house and steal your stuff, would you recommend to me that I should cast a vote? % Crime is contagious. If the government becomes a lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for the law. It invites every man to become a law unto himself. It invites anarchy. % It is discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. % At any given moment there is a sort of all pervading orthodoxy, a general tacit agreement not to discuss large and uncomfortable facts. % You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. % The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. There are only individual egos, crazy for love. % The state represents violence in a concentrated and organized form. The individual has a soul but as the state is a soul-less machine, it can never be weaned from violence to which it owes its very existence. % Life is pain. Those who say differently are selling something. % Death by violence, death by cold, death by starvation - they are the normal endings of the stately creatures of the wilderness. The sentimentalists who prattle about the peaceful life of nature do not realize its utter mercilessness. % Osama, and the Islamist movement he represents, have calculated that we are the modern Rome and that we are bored, decadent and have no faith in ourselves. % His marksmanship could have been better, though, for his twin sister Mary had to finish one of them off with the butcher knife from the kitchen. % Those without swords can still die upon them. % Eventually, one man may even be able to wield the destructive power that only nation-states possess today. % The media is the most efficient weapon of tyranny and oppression ever created. No need to physically control populations anymore when you can do it mentally - program it in, internalize the rules. % PSYOPS have evolved to the point, thanks to the all pervasive mass media, where we can make you believe or at least passively accept whatever we want you to. % Remember: just because they haven't found the bodies yet doesn't make it a victimless crime. % Global government: power corrupts, complete power corrupts completely. % The question of whether science can ever recover its innocence is moot. After life as a harlot on the mean streets of political imperative, a return to the sanctity of the cloister looks out of the question. If so, humanity has forever lost a bright jewel in its culture. % Only a fraction of mankind has emerged from the Dark Ages. Have you? % Giant planes throb through the stratosphere but half their passengers are wearing magic amulets and are protected from harm by voodoo incantations. % Either you live frugally, and have nothing other people want, or you become part of a gang big enough and nasty enough to protect you - and you pay your dues to that gang. % That's life. We're just apes, maybe with a little less hair than most, when all is said and done. % Now, Synarchists work behind-the-scenes to ram through their perfect world. A fig leaf of democracy covers imperious, hierarchical plans. % I love women. Just haven't found one that'll put up with me. % I love women. Just haven't found one that doesn't take out a Restraining Order. % I love women. Just haven't found one with low enough self-esteem. % It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning. % Global warming... is there *anything* it can't do? % What this country needs is a return to the stability consequent to predictable corruption. It is not wise so rashly to abandon the values of our forefathers. % When knowledgeable people can't agree on the best course of action, there's no reason to think ignorance will get you to a worse place than knowledge. The only thing you can know for sure is that the ignorant people wasted less time reading about things that didn't help. % As you know, fairness is a concept that was invented so that children and idiots could participate in arguments. % Many textbooks make little or no attempt to distinguish fact from theory, failing to cite doubts or alternatives offered by reputable experts (or even acknowledging that a legitimate alternative view is possible). % Given everything we have seen, show us why shooting the bastards cannot make the situation any better than it is now. Perhaps then we will think of more humane ways to deal with them. % When you get your shot you take it. % You'll fail to find happiness at the bottom of a bottle this week but by that point you'll be too drunk to really care. % You faked all your orgasms? Too bad, all mine were great. Maybe you should speak up next time. % It boggles the mind to think that until something like Jonestown or Heaven's Gate happens no one has any interest in critical thinking. They don't teach it in schools. It's not practiced in our mass media. It's so bad that anyone who does practice it is considered weird, troublesome, the enemy of reason. % I refuse to mortgage my time here on earth for someone else's future. I'm too concerned about the here and now to worry about what the generations born hundreds of years from now will breathe. % There's no longer some lone guy standing on a street corner with a sign saying `the end is near.' There's millions of that guy now all holding different signs, vying for your panic, fear or guilt. % The heretic is condemned because he has dared to question an authority that must never be questioned. Here, `overwhelming evidence' serves as the equivalent of revealed religious truth and those who question `scientists of unquestioned reputation' - that is, the new priestly caste - are guilty of blasphemy. % The charge of denial has become a secular form of blasphemy. % Scepticism towards the received wisdom on global warming, or public health issues such as AIDS, is described as `denial' and today, `denial' has been transformed into a generic evil. % The dogmatic demand to `believe' has become a kind of moral imperative. Moral entrepreneurs argue that victims have, `a right to be believed.' % Attempts at self-medicating with alcohol will once again completely fail to treat your rampant alcoholism. % If work stress has you feeling burnt out and close to a nervous breakdown, consider taking up yoga. That will sort everything out. % An insightful friend will have the solution to a problem that's been nagging you for quite some time now. Shame you don't have one. % You've had so many things on your mind lately that it's starting to take a toll. Give yourself some much needed masturbation. % Sit down before facts like a child, and be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever and to whatever abysses Nature leads, or you shall learn nothing. % `How many new writers does it take to change a lightbulb?' `Let me tell you about the lightbulb I've been working on...' % Love many, trust few. % As anyone who has mis-spent his youth can testify, what constitutes a bladed weapon is limited only by the imagination. % Last time we met I let you live. Don't make me regret that decision. % The Soviet Union was the full fruit of Marxist ideology, the realization of the great Utopian dream. % We describe therefore such stellar objects as if they were still in existence in what the Media calls real time. In other words science is asking us to accept as real a total stage-construct organised by a determined framework of both language and concept. % If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be. % That drunk who became your dad thought your mom was a guy in drag... % `Are you familiar with the term delusions of grandeur?' `I believe I coined that phrase.' % Ignorance is no excuse for a law. % Everything the State says is a lie and everything it has it has stolen. % A nation of slaves is always prepared to applaud the clemency of their master, who, in the abuse of absolute power, does not proceed to the last extremes of injustice and oppression. % We have repeatedly come face to face with the obvious fact that those in positions of power and authority lie to the masses of humanity as a rule rather than an exception. % We should think of `corporate rule' when we hear the term `the economy.' % If you apologize after someone slaps your cheek, expect them to slap it again. % Remain easy-going today when it seems like Hell has broken loose. It won't actually break loose until tomorrow. % There are truths for us to find. These truths are self-evident. You simply to have to open your mind and accept them instead of believing what you want to believe or are told to believe. % Give your meat a rest. Thursday is new gal day. % Just watch people driving. If adults were routinely disqualified from operating tools and machinery by reason of stupidity and negligence society in general simply would not function. % Either you submit or you go down fighting and take some of the bastards with you. % Increasingly insane directives from the all-powerful EU bureaucracy are driving an entire continent into poverty and chaos. % Almost the entire political class has isolated itself not only from people, but from the laws of physics, economics and common sense. % Now the real reason this is all moot is because nobody in America gives a fuck. % I like that `settle it in the streets.' Last time I looked, the good guys still outnumber the common criminals, carjackers, rapists, armed robbers, gangbangers and drug dealers. If every good guy shoots one criminal, in no time we will have no lawyers or politicians at all. % Rule 34: if it exists, there's porn of it. % But we must have power, power to order all things as we will, for that good which only the Wise can see. % Sharing? I don't like the sound of that. % I don't like threats unless *I* make them. % We are supposed to be in a panic about man-made global warming and the whole thing takes a ten year break because of the lack of Sun Spots. If this weren't so serious, it would be laughable. % It is not the same country. It is now a cross between Sodom and Gomorrah and the land of Oz. % They would rather die insane than to recognize the web of lies their whole lives have become. % The shock of compartment meltdown will be too much for the plastic reality of many. But it is underway. Anal retentive forces will try to stop this. Ultimately, they will not succeed. % Unfortunately, scientists not whored by grant monies and prestige are a minority. % When we thrust our soldiers into the role of occupiers we are giving them a choice: commit war crimes or die. Become a monster or a corpse. % The bobsled is already over the edge of the slope, all we can do is try and ride out the bumps. % For every person with with whom I disagree who is willing to engage in intelligent debate and present an argument consisting of more than sound-bytes, there are roughly 5,000 more mouth-breathing idiots who simply and fundamentally cannot think. % I think he may have been allergic to the spaniel in his sandwich. % `Stumpy, where's the sun?' `Over the yard-arm.' `Then open the gin.' % If the wrong President gets elected peace could break out! % I'd hate to have re-learn all those ranging spots. % The first step is to admit that you have a problem. That is all I know, I have never gotten past the first step. % I've even cut back on my on line porn for this group. % All Beliefs are Products. There are no Believers now - only Customers % I'm not calling for civilization to fall and kill billions of people in ways other than old age, any more than I'm calling for winter to come and kill a lot of plants. I'm just noticing it coming and declaring that it's perfectly natural. % The propaganda industry will blame corporate greed, as if this could have been avoided if corporations weren't greedy and fish didn't swim. % A good economy means you can get a job, and in a really good economy you can get such a good job that if you work 70 hours a week for years you can buy a nice house in a nice place where you never have to deal with those disturbing poor people who are too lazy to work 70 hours a week. % We are not given any options but total submission or death. That's why all of us who have not been killed are full of suppressed rage. % Not a person but a sort of walking, hiding symptom of their way of life. % Sometimes a spade is actually a sharpened entrenching tool you can use for CQB. % This system is an anti-system, a multilevel negation, built of blocks of lack of power, lack of responsibility, lack of awareness. This raises mind-bending questions: How do you destroy a void? And if nobody has any real power, where does the power go? % Often the only way to describe arseholes is to describe them exactly as they are: arseholes. % Old-school political satire has a basic problem today: our politicians are so ridiculous that ridiculing them further is about as difficult as kicking a Chihuahua. % War is entering a new phase where blurring the line between civilian and military isn't just an accident or cheating but crucial to any irregular force facing first-world attackers. % I believe zombies and unicorns will battle as the world burns to the ground and everyone in their path is gored or eaten. They told me I should perhaps see a doctor about this. I told them maybe they should be preparing instead of worrying about my mental health. % I don't care what other people do so long as they *leave me the fuck alone!* % The only thing that Representative Democracy has to recommend it is that it sets up a system of competition between rival groups of politicians. That way rivals are always 'sending' people against each other and, with any luck, tie each other up enough for ordinary life to go on. % Have you ever considered any real freedoms? Freedoms from the opinion of others... even the opinions of yourself? % As for the charges against me, I am unconcerned. I am beyond their timid lying morality and so I am beyond caring. % There are two of you, don't you see? One that kills... and one that loves. % There's mines over there, there's mines over there, and watch out those goddamn monkeys bite, I'll tell ya. % I used to think if I died in an evil place then my soul wouldn't make it to heaven. Well, fuck. I don't care where it goes as long it ain't here. % I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight... razor... and surviving. % The thing is, hope is for sissies. % The best way to defend is to attack. The best way to attack is to attack. % Remember: anything can be accomplished with enough grit, determination and cups of coffee. % You will drink from the well of wisdom this week, instantly learning all there is to know about contracting dysentery. % Friends having relationship woes could really use your sense of humour to snap them out of it. And you could use their confusion and vulnerability to get sex. Everyone's a winner! % Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn. % One thing you have to say for mechanized warfare, it saved a lot of horses from horrible deaths. % Jesus Christ was accused of being a murderer in his time. % That's why I love the Horn of Africa. It, and maybe Afghanistan, are the last parts of the world where humans live proud, like killer chimps, like we were meant to. % When you've got Saudi boys choosing one-way tickets to the WTC over a lifetime lying by the pool with your imported Swedish girlfriend in Riyadh, you've got a serious ideology to deal with. % The enemy of your enemy is usually also your enemy. Duh! % Short of genocide, there is no military solution to urban guerrilla warfare. % Everything's cool right now but there might be some problems later. % Kill as many as you can and eventually there'll be nothing left but brave corpses and live cowards. % Sure as I know anything, I know this: they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They will swing back to the belief that they can make people... better. And I do not hold to that. % Do what ever gets you a good night's sleep. % The Germans never even made it to Moscow. And they fell much harder than the French. Since 1945 Germany's been nothing but lame hippies in metal-rim glasses skulking around trying not to offend anybody. Pathetic. % It was one of the few really glorious exploits you get in war these days. Why they haven't made a movie of it, I don't know. Guess they think we'd rather see tennis pros fall in love or some shit like that. % And all that is beauty, fades. % Damn, it sounds so awful it almost makes my life seem OK. % The whole point of guerrilla war is to commit human-rights violations. There are no battles in this kind of war, just massacres and ambushes. % They just knew that the whole world was supposed to be run like some stupid high-school Student Body election. % The world is goin' Fag Planet faster than the leading man in your high-school drama class. % I just read the new polls. Americans are losing their war hard-ons faster than a fag in a whorehouse. % Let's be honest here: what `multiethnic' really means is, if your car breaks down in the wrong neighborhood you get beaten to death with your own tire iron. % Don't knock on my door if you don't know my rottweiler's name. % That's why we need a war now and then. You can drain your dick at every bondage site on the web but you can't really drain your head there, it takes something bigger like a decent war and some of those guncamera shots. % The Chechen guerrillas have gone to a new formation, with three-man teams consisting of two RPG gunners with one AK man whose only job is to protect the RPGers. That may be the wave of the future. % Everything they told you is wrong. Everything you believe is wrong and worse than that - it's dull, too. % After the primal manifestation of the sword, the universe was created. % I don't care about anybody. Not since my dog died. Especially not on weekdays, or when the commute's bad, or when it's as hot as it's been around here lately. % The only girls I get to see naked are old whores pretending to get whipped on websites like Slave Farm, where they use lipstick streaks on the ass-cheeks to look like stripes from a riding crop. % Nobody in the world really gets the multi-ethnic deal anyway, we all just fake it. % But then that's me and people are always telling me I'm 'cynical,' whatever that means. I mean, either you're right or you're wrong; and if you're right, how is that 'cynical?' % Don't tell me terror doesn't work. Only amateurs think that. % Your social studies teacher told you this cross-cultural stuff is a wonderful thing but what it really means is permanent gang fights. % Britain doesn't do suicide killers? Think again, check out the life expectancy of a bomber crew in WW2. % The Brits, up to the mid-20th-century, were stone killers, the most ruthless conquerors of the past thousand years. % Weapons are only weapons if you're willing to use them. % And it won't even be the fun kind of dictatorship, with snappy uniforms and battleships, just some sad nerf-fascist state. % How many `little compromises' must we make with our own souls to fit into this oddfellow society? % No one can be sure they aren't guilty, since no one can ever be sure exactly what the crimes are. % Why is it so many people can be comforted with the thought of some bureaucracy standing by? % Men marry women hoping they'll never change, while women marry men hoping to change them. % Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder. % Meat is murder. And murder tastes good. % The only true method of selecting a superior is with an eating competition, in my own completely unhumble opinion. The winner is the one who eats everyone else. % Oh boy, I tell you I haven't felt this good since I came up with that new place to hide my porn. % Just remember it's not my fault. % Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. % ...reports that a little girl in a gingham dress immediately looted her shoes are as yet unconfirmed. % Use meditation techniques to help refocus on your love goals. If that doesn't work go back to pornography. % At work, try sneaking some nuts into your colleague's salad to see if she really does have that allergy she's always boasting about. I bet she can't even spell anaphylactic. % The biophysicist William Bialek of Princeton University calculates that temporal coding would boost the brain's information-processing capacity close to the Shannon limit, the theoretical maximum that information theory allows for a given physical system. % What we do know is that the brain's complexity dwarfs anything we've managed to fully understand, let alone build. % Corporate America has been running the show for a long time now. % Modern government schools: planting tomorrow's Soylent Green. % You may notice that `Sex and the City' is not actually written for real women; it's written for gay men, by gay men, and the characters are in fact gay men in women's bodies. % Everybody has a philosophy, a belief system. Everybody. Some are just more jumbled, flawed, self-contradictory, and useless than others. Balls and chains, instead of wings. % If people are free to do as they wish, they are almost certain not to do as we wish. That is why Utopian planners end up as despots, whether at the national level or at the level of the local 'redevelopment' agency. % Now, somebody explain to me how one of your enemies dying choking in their own blood is not a good thing that you should feel happy about. Well, except the small point you didn't arrange it yourself, that is. % Yes. There does come that time when you are forced to don the tinfoil hat. % When things look bleak pick up your favorite rifle and look at the future once more through the sights. It'll make you feel better, if only a little bit. % I'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the King of Britain % I'd hit it like a 308 FMJ smacking an empty propane tank from 300 yards out. % I'd hit it like the angry fist of God. % I'd hit it like a jackhammer on a hot summer day in NYC. % You will see your penis on MTV. % Elephant trunk will be looking shy in front your bolt. % You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it. % Two great mysteries dominate or lives: love and money. % They are building underground bases. % If you never ask the right question, it doesn't matter what the answer is. All the wrong questions and answers are being broadcast into your brain over the television, via the newspapers and radio, in the mindless activities of the Internet, and via the gossip around the water cooler at work. % A Predator like Fritzl is a good example of the damage that a single psychopath can do, alone. Less obvious is the potential for destruction represented by the socially adept types; many of whom currently occupy the halls of power and have well-formed networks with which to protect themselves from exposure. % She looked good... last night... % My pen is huge. % Keep your shitty music to yourself. % I am your girlfriend's pimp. % Mail order was meant for discrete pornography. % The streets will run red with the blood of the innocent and the pure this week. Relax, *you* have absolutely nothing to worry about. % They may make your heart race and your knees tremble but remember: women are just as scared of you as you are of them. % Perfection is absolute. You must be made perfect. % We get newspapers from time to time. We get the old ones from a neighbor to line bird cages. % Western civ has crossed the stupidity event horizon, from which not even the most energetic particle of common sense can escape. % He took a silk purse and made it into a lovely pig's ear. % Yep, we still have a rigged poll running for that. % It might be wise for you to lie low a bit this week. The photofit is not perfect but it's still a good likeness. Good job she did not get a look at your face. % You find yourself getting into arguments with just about everyone today. Yes, you do. % Don't play safe. Sometimes you have to ruffle some feathers to get what you want. Especially if it's chicken sex. % You're feeling great and it shows! Why is everyone pointing? Have they never seen a penis on a bus before? % Today you're the one who seems to be creating a buzz around the office. Have a look in your handbag. It must have turned itself on again. % `I'm in the bathroom! Is nothing sacred to you people?' `Just the right to keep and bear arms.' % Of course I know what a restraining order is. Do you think I've never had a girlfriend? % ``The Experts Speak: The Definitive Guide to Authoritative Misinformation,'' came under attack back in 1990 because, at the time, it failed to find a single expert who was right although the authors readily conceded that, in statistical theory, it was possible that the experts were right as much as half the time. It just proved exceedingly difficult to find evidence of that other 50%. % New Zealand sent 2000 plastic Chinese made tents back to China under the aid program to assist in the earthquake hit areas. % Being single doesn't have to mean you're all alone feeding 20 cats from your armchair while watching cop show re-runs. It just does in your case. % You know you're properly armed when you cannot use a compass except held at arm's length. % A day without blood is like a day without sunshine. % It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. % You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece. % Those who understand their own limitations can embrace the world without limitations. % I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. % Alright. We nuke the site from orbit. % Witch hunts don't happen without an educated elite behind them. In the past, bishops and priests let panics loose. Today it is the police, social workers and broadsheet journalists. % Looks nice, though I have trouble calling it a `Truck Gun' for anything over $200. % hey man relax. did you find out your online gf has been cheating on you again? % Each time I looked around, the walls moved in a little tighter. % We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Pig after pig. Cow after cow. Village after village. Army after army. % What do you call assassins who accuse assassins? % Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were goin' all the way. % There's nothing that I detest more than the stench of lies. % They weren't looking for anything more than a way home. Trouble is, I'd been back there and I knew that it just didn't exist anymore. % It's amazing what a difference a little hard work and perseverance can make. Or, at least, so I'm told. % Remember: nobody is perfect. Whatever you lack in talent and ability you more than make up for in well-timed excuses. % When was the last time you took yourself on a date? Treat yourself to a night out or special dinner. Then give yourself a good seeing to but don't return any of your phone calls or texts. % Linger over coffee, take a leisurely walk around your neighbourhood and spend the evening contemplating the mysteries of the universe. Then go home and masturbate frenziedly. % You certainly *can* yell `FIRE' in a crowded theater... if it's on fire. % I love it when a plan comes together and I didn't even have a plan in the first place. % I love it when a plan comes together. % Having testicles is like being chained to the village idiot. Sad but there it is. % I guess the moral of the story is: the best things in life are usually the result of luck, so take any good pussy that comes your way. % After that `customer service' experience I wouldn't subscribe to their service again if it was the only way to keep a truckload of puppies from a certain and horrible death. % As someone who has had a profound UFO experience I can tell folks here and now that such 'ain't anything to do with mechanism as we know it. % Its a great day. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift - thats why it's called the present. % Coughing up blood is usually a sign of serious illness. In your case it simply means you're drinking it too fast. % A mob of torch-wielding villagers will soon gather outside your home but I bet you don't remember inviting a mob of torch-wielding villagers over. % Though a number of instructional tools already exist, physicists will recommend using your fat ass whenever the concept of inertia is taught in high school classrooms. % Just remember, boys and girls, a handgun is something you have with you when you suddenly discover you should have gotten the shotgun out of the trunk. % A handgun is what you use to fight your way to the rifle you shouldn't have put down in the first place. % I'll bet George Orwell didn't realise he was writing a `How To' manual. % Others less clued up than you are looking to you for the answers to some tough questions, so choose your words carefully. How about these: Go. Fuck. Yourselves. Losers. % When someone upsets you, instead of burying your real emotions for the sake of politeness, bury them. Alive! % When in Rome... sack, rape, and pillage. % If you cannot opt out of something you have not previously agreed to, in what manner are you free? % Friends! That actives my hilarity unit. % If you're running into an unresolvable contradiction, check your premises. One of them will be wrong. % Ideas are more dangerous than guns, we don't allow our adversaries to have guns, why would we allow them to have ideas? % Did he say, `Strap in' or `Strap on?' % Work is getting you down, and you are feeling pretty low. Go to a bar, get drunk, and sleep with a stranger. Now that feels much better, doesn't it? % Today you will find yourself in a situation where another person's feelings could easily get hurt. Enjoy! % Take some time today to reflect on all that you have achieved in your life so far. It won't take long. % Your friends are teasing you about your safe and easy dating choices? At least when you pick them off a website and hire them you are guaranteed sex. Now who's laughing? % Environmental campaigners should change their slogan from 'Save the Planet' to something more relevant such as 'Save Your Sorry Arse.' % Questions are a burden. And answers a prison for oneself. % Sweetie, this is one of those times when I know what's right and everyone else is wrong. % If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats. % This is the police, you are surrounded, give yourself up. % And come The Day, when civilization experiences setbacks, and Life is no longer leisurely, the soft, spoiled, and metrosexual are going to be better known by their traditional descriptor: prey. % I haven't yet been charged with unauthorized possession of testicles but I figure that's next. % There's no `I' in `blame.' % Jayus Christ! I'm glad you cleared that point up! Now I gotta' go stab my mind's eye out with a fork. % Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. % Perhaps, back in the thatched huts, the tribal seer is laughing his head off. Perhaps he knows, like Shakespeare's Prospero, that the world of the imagination is the only world that counts. % Explanations help us to get some sleep at night. In the morning they are gone. % The symbol becomes intercalated into the cycle of corporeal changes. % When you walk in the door at your place of business and start shooting your coworkers, it's safe to assume you've decided your job isn't working out and that you're ready to move on. % All Beliefs are Products. There are no Believers now - only Customers. % We are not realists. We are not idealists. We are intermediatists that nothing is real, but that nothing is unreal: that all phenomena are approximations one way or the other between realness and unrealness. Like purgatory, I think. % I know I'm early. They kicked me out of the strip bar. % Every time some clown up the ladder is feeling insecure we get a barrage of meetings to attend. I just want to tell them, `look I'm sorry you're stupid and useless but don't drag me down with you.' % It is plausible to assume that there are further existential risks we have not yet thought of. % I was ignoring you. I'm a man. % I reflected on how swiftly the majority of people would perish in an Apocalypse, psychologically and physically unprepared to an extent such that it's amazing they manage even ordinary life... % I respect other people's religious beliefs in the same way I respect a man's notion that his wife is beautiful and his children are brilliant. % There live not three good men, un-hanged, in England and one is old and grows fat. God help the while! % If you tip up into my house unannounced I will pump your ass full of the Second Amendment. % The best survival tool you have is your mind. Careful planning and preparation will help you through almost any situation. The time to prepare is NOW. % All of your disaster preparedness will be a waste if you can't protect yourself and your family. Buy a gun. % I'm pushing to rename `Earth Day' to `Punch a Hippie Day.' % Earth First! We'll strip mine the other planets later. % Who doesn't have the odd moment of wondering whether the Nazis in fact won the war? % Just as environmentalism has replaced Marxism as the central economic theory of the far left, so too has environmentalism begun to replace liberal Christianity as the left's motivating religious force. % Whup their ass, Mr President. Give 'em their 72 virgins. Now would be a good time. % Nothin' wrong with killin', long as the right people are kilt. % Yes. A bullet through the head is always the best cure for love. % He started feeling his wine and everything else he could get his hands on. % I'm on your side, lady. It's my only politics... anti-wife. Any woman who devotes herself to making one man miserable instead of a lot of men happy don't get my vote. % Ahh, women! I never met one yet that was half as reliable as a horse! % It's usually at its darkest before it goes completely black. % You've annoyed her now. She's small but she's vicious, apparently. % Amusingly, hippies are amongst the people most reliant on the crutch of so-called technologically advanced civilisation to indulge their fancies. % It is amusingly ironic that hippies would, by and large, be amongst the most poorly psychologically equipped people to survive any kind of societal collapse. % I think we should give animal rights activists the same rights as animals. There are several billion humans so no bag limits. Humans breed all year round so no closed season. Won't need very elaborate or well-disguised traps to fool a hippy, they're all too stoned to react to danger. % That's it! Scan, pump up your gun, and holster. % I wasn't crying. There was dirt in my eyes. % Frankly, my dislike of tattoos isn't going to keep me from scoring good poon. % I spent Earth Day looking for hippies to beat up. Hippies smell bad and scare children. WON'T YOU PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN? % If all the ice in Antarctica were to melt, it would cause sea level to rise by 200 feet. It's also currently the only plausible theoretical way to make hippies bathe. % His wife stopped asking him to do chores around the house because he was always getting his head stuck in the mop bucket. % We're gonna chase 'em, catch 'em, cook 'em and eat 'em. % I can't figure out why I just don't care? % You're playing your part, I'm playing mine. % Nice sluttoo you've got there. Were you drunk? % Either come to terms with your own inadequacy or kill yourself. % Can you believe that in the Soviet Union they needed special papers just to travel in their own country? Thank heavens that will never happen here. % Let's face it. This is not the worst thing you've caught me doing. % You have to admire them for being utterly guileless in their irony. % Of course we're happier. We own guns. And everyone knows that happiness is a warm gun. % Happiness is a dirty gun. % Who's pickin' the banjo here? % What the hell does `Deliverance' have to do with this? % Anyway women like a good cry, settles their hormones. % Talk about genetic deficiencies... isn't that pitiful? % In the event of `emergency,' we're all meeting at Otis' house since he's got all the ammo... % There's a man going round, taking names... % I once watched Joan Crawford do better, but I have never seen a performance of such reptilian creepiness from a mere politician. % Stock up on piano wire. % Who knew shooting zombies could be so educational. % Half of the world's human population is infected with Toxoplasma. Parasites in the body - and the brain. Remember that. % On some instinctual level all humans know it's just a matter of time until the zombies show up. % Normal conscious experience is where neural activity is part of the activity of a pre-experienced whole subject within a living body. To suggest otherwise is to border on absurdity. % Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. % No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. % You can't respect a man who carries a dog. % At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. % But they're protesting communists. And it's San Francisco. They're protesting communists in San Francisco. Really. % Because deep down he really wants one but knows he's not able to handle it. % I see dumb people. They're all around me. They don't know they're dumb. % Do I need to kill you now? % He said very little... and then was quiet. % Get your own damn gun and quit waiting around for somebody else to come save your ass. % The situation felt surreal and slightly amusing but I knew that crazy people could be unpredictably dangerous. % I started thinking of excuses to give him about why I needed to leave. Martial arts class? Nope, he already thinks I'm too militant and he doesn't even know about my gun collection. Church? Fat chance of that. Date? I wish. Sick mother? Worth a shot, I thought. % It was obvious to him that the world was out to wrong him. After getting to know the man, I could not blame the world one bit. % On one otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window. % You know what the difference between me and you really is? You look out there and see a horde of evil, brain eating zombies. I look out there and see a target rich environment. % Q: You enter a room and see a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You have only 2 bullets in your gun. What do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice and then pistol-whip the bastard until you're sure he's dead. Then get yourself a better gun. % How come when someone says, `a gated community of Ron Paul supporters,' the thing that pops into mind is Arkham Asylum? % Looking for World Dominance. Or chocolate. % Speaking as someone who would have shot the burglar more times... % Besides, I'm pretty sure that TEOTWAWKI would involve an interruption of broadband intarw3bz connectivity. % If the dirt is black, there are no hippies in sight, and nobody says `y'all,' you're probably in the Midwest % Depending on how close you live to Broad Ripple Ave, you can zombies every Thursday-Saturday night around 2am. % I heard pictures rattling but figured it was the cat and dog being rowdy. % While waiting for the elevator it is always good to analyze whether your level of laziness exceeds your level of impatience. % If you have to ask, it wasn't the end of the world. % You know as well as I... some men are monsters. % `Oh wow, is this your car?' `No, it belongs to the guy I killed and stuffed in the trunk.' % Now my friend. How brave a boy are you? % It was an idea, I dunno, who knows where they fuckin' come from! Isaac Newton invented gravity cause some asshole hit him with an apple! % When seconds count the police are only minutes away. % It's okay to die unsuccessful but never die unsatisfied. % Oh, that's right. You work. I've always admired you people. % When he gets his head stuck in a bucket he can usually get it unstuck fairly quickly. % He was once in the presence of a gun for five whole minutes without screaming like a little girl. % As for coat hanger lobotomies - how could that be wrong. % `Mister, you're butting into something that doesn't concern you. Either you're extra good with that gun, or you're bluffing.' `All you gotta do is figure out which it is.' % `I never did thank you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gotten married.' `As long as you're thankin' me and not blamin' me, you're welcome.' % `Don't you realize that I might be killed in the morning?' `Anybody can be killed... any day.' `Anybody is me. Any day is tomorrow.' % What you've gotta do is make up your mind and go do it. Whatever the situation is. % If I have to kill you, I don't much care whether it's tomorrow or now. You can save us both time by starting the trouble now. % `You look different... bigger.' `Well, maybe it's the gun. It would make anyone look bigger.' % Don't feel sorry kid. Don't ever feel sorry. Like poison to a man. % Don't wait around for a fair fight. Just get him any way you can. % I guess you're stocking up on ammo, not love... % It's the darkness where your souls should be that scares me. % I'm picturing you naked... and helpless. % I'm picturing you naked. % I thought about it long and hard. Then I examined my conscience. Then I thought `fuck it.' % I'm a figment of your imagination. Welcome to the Matrix. % The voices are telling me to stay home today and clean my guns then read the book of Isaiah and the book of Revelation. % There's no question, though, that the AK47 is a good rifle. You can bury it in the sand for 100 years, dig it out and it'll fire first time. % The Kalashnikov is cleaned just by covering it in diesel. It comes out looking spotless. % Hail to the king, baby. % It's a trick. Get an axe. % Love, desire, ambition, faith - without them, life's so simple, believe me. % Stop trying to rationalize everything, will ya? Let's face it, we have a mystery on our hands! % There's no emotion. None. Just the pretense of it. The words, the gesture, the tone of voice, everything else is the same but not the feeling. % Listen to me! Please listen! If you don't, if you won't, if you fail to understand, then the same incredible terror that's menacing me *will strike at you!* % (The preceding has been a satire. Not all statements are accurate.) % Please help yourselves by surrendering now. % Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains. % I don't have time to surf for pR0N. I'm too busy surfing the gunboards, preparing for the coming Zombie Apocalypse. % Some people are castrated through accidents but I don't know what everyone else's excuse is. % The Internet is where information goes to die and become a part of the Zombie Apocalypse, eating people's brains and leaving the empty husks rotting at the keyboards. % I forget sometimes I'm talking to girls. % Love is a verb... and Verbs show action... % Actually, we're just here cause we're hoping some hot protestor chicks will take their tops off. % By the time rescue workers reach you this week not only will you have eaten all of your fellow passengers but moved on to some of the food they had brought along as well. % The stars indicate this is a good week to try new and exciting experiences. See what happens when you consume a second, larger meatball sandwich. % A passing stranger will steal your heart this week and, after a few too many drinks have been consumed, your kidneys as well. % I don't understand, they're called `public servants' yet I have to do what *they* tell me. % I pity the fool who doesn't understand that real men box and train. % I pity the fool who drinks soy milk. % I pity the fool who did your mother! % I remember one time I tried to pity this fool. He told me his name was Jeff. He was married. He pulled out his wallet and showed me three pictures of his kids; Kelly, Robert, Brittany. Real cute kids. Don't get too close man. It's hard to pity a fool if you get too close. % I believe in the Golden Rule: The Man with the Gold... rules. % Today's Internet still has borders and, increasingly, countries want to control what passes through them. % Security is both a feeling and a reality, and they're different. % Fear offers endless business opportunities. % Scientists are really smart people and if we give them lots of money they'll come up with really neat stuff for us. Like the Manhattan Project. Look how well that turned out. % Sure, at some level scientists know nanotechnology will destroy mankind. They just can't resist seeing how it happens. Don't believe me? Check out the Manhattan Project. % I don't really want to cry, because I'm British. % You're on the Glory Hole girlyboy, so blow me. % He's a zombie. Kill him now. % Pornography is a state of mind. EVERYTHING IS PORNOGRAPHY. It's great to be me. % Heretic! BURN HIM! % I know where it's at. I just don't want to be there when it's happening. % The hell with yah! I'm gonna kill him while I'm still temporarily insane. % Don't knock foetus throwing. That umbilical cord really works to your advantage when it comes to distance. % Maybe it's just me but I never carry reloads for self defense purposes. Someone told me one time that if you ever have to cap somebody the prosecutor could say you worked that load up expressly to kill them. % I suggest you sleep with one eye open and the handle of the machete well within reach. 'Course, you should be doing that anyway, given the coming Zombie Apocalypse. % Thank you. I hope I can live up to your stereotype. % I tried being reasonable... I didn't like it. % Frank, your recent unemployment has obviously caused you to cling to your guns and religion. Wait a second - you were clinging to those even when you were employed. So what's your excuse you typical white cracker? % I fell asleep working on my doomsday weather control machine. % Given our leaders are entirely without principle why the heck should we expect foreign leaders to be any less venal? % This is the Disinformation Age. You've got to have your spam filters set to `high.' % I spend a lot of time thinking about the coming Zombie Apocalypse. % I spend a lot of time preparing for The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse. % Why do you bother with it? It's obviously crossed sanity's event horizon and is beyond recovery. % It's your friends that are the ones that stab you in the back. % `Have I humiliated you in the last half hour?' `No.' `Check your email.' % `Can't we just be friends?' `Hmmmm, how do I hang an air freshener on this? You are a complete waste of skin, I often dream of killing you. *sniffs the air* Mmmmm pine fresh.' % My rifle is my primary self-defense weapon. My pistol is used to fight my way to my rifle. % What works in deer may or may not work in humans. The same goes for hogs, varmints, pigs, dogs, zombies (headshots only please), and aliens (particularly grey skins - go for the big eyes, not center mass). % Without commenting on the wisdom of engaging roving packs of zombies without adult supervision, the best performing rounds, in terms of penetration of 6mm laminated front windscreen auto glass and other automobile structures, are probably the Federal Tactical 55 and 62 grain bonded JSP (LE223T1 and LE223T3). % Open-minded people are hard to find. % We keep our heads down, never bothering to look behind the mask, and in doing so we resign ourselves to fates we can never see coming. % Look at you! Brainwashed imbeciles! % It is dangerous for our children to know your philosophy even exists. % If you have any opinions, suggestions, or comments please do keep them to yourself. % If only we all really had the special sunglasses! % I see a hungry mind - I'll feed it on wormwood and gall. % All propaganda has to be popular and has to adapt its spiritual level to the perception of the least intelligent of those towards whom it intends to direct itself. % Shoot him, Lil! % `You can't shoot us all!' `No, but I can shoot you.' % Makes me want to go out and burn a few tires just for spite. % To the Earth a hundred years is nothing. A million years is nothing. This planet lives and breathes on a much vaster scale. We can't imagine its slow and powerful rhythms and we haven't got the humility to try. We've been residents here for the blink of an eye. If we're gone tomorrow the Earth will not miss us. % The `gun might be taken away from you' hypothesis is always amusing. By that argument we should promote criminal access to weapons. Then, when attacked by a criminal, simply `take his weapon away from him and use it against him.' % What a drab and joyless life you must lead. Eating only the bread and water and vitamins required for basic nutrition, dressing only in second-hand clothes to keep from freezing to death. Avoiding nonsense and frivolity of all sorts so that people will recognise your moral superiority. % Keep your mouth shut. You can't make a deal with that lying rat. % You're tough baby. I like that. But not too tough. I like that too. % Do not provoke me woman. I will not tolerate ridicule about my moustache. % The laws that forbid the carrying of arms disarm those only who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes. Can it be supposed that those who have the courage to violate the most sacred laws of humanity, will respect the less important and arbitrary ones? % I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum. % The last time I had this much fun some furniture got broken. % If you are committed to accomplishing your social goals by using government power then, by definition, your only tool is the hammer of coercion. % The mass belief in the general beneficence of democracy represents a kind of Stockholm Syndrome writ large. % I've seen monkey crap fights at the zoo that were more artistic. % Treasonous, lowlife scum the lot of them. I'll bring the tar. % Treasonous, lowlife scum the lot of them. I'll bring the piano wire. % In a truly civil society peopled entirely by enlightened, sober individuals, the carriage of arms might be deemed gratuitous but it is nonetheless harmless. In a society that measures up to anything less than that the option to carry arms is a necessity. % In defense of all us drunken sailors, I have to remind you that we only spend our own money. % It is now virtually impossible for the average citizen to accept the official version of reality and still lay claim to their own sanity. % Later, as he sat on his balcony eating the dog, Dr Robert Laing reflected on the unusual events that had taken place within this huge apartment building during the previous three months. % I hope he falls asleep behind the wheel and slams into a telephone pole. Then he wakes up and burns to death. % Electricity will replace God. The peasants should pray to it. % What have we here? A human being or a very close approximation. % If you're looking for warm embraces and kind flattering words then get a hooker... % Put ya Mr Spock ears on and go back to playin video games... % I took too many self-esteem classes in school. % If you've got something to say, then say it. Innuendo is for pussies! % Now we are all sons of bitches. % With government, the more they get the more they want and the more inefficient they become. % The circular firing squad is loading the retard bullets. % Mr Finch, there's just some kind of men you have to shoot before you say hidy to 'em. Even then, they ain't worth the bullet it takes to shoot 'em. % We don't need less guns, we need more guns. We need more guns and give them to the right fucking people. % I've informed the people at work that my attention span is governed by Male Pattern Attention Deficit Disorder. Anything over 2 minutes or uninteresting and I'm off. % Gunnut1 posted the pics for me as I am computer illiterate. I can find gun sites and look up porn but that is about the extent of it. % When I have completed these daunting tasks, I will once again offer my inflated ego, arrogant bastard services to assholes who are too elitist to accept anything less. % It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. % Hey, anything's possible. And so long as people believe that, and that anything means everything they want, the cycle repeats and self-perpetuates. % The harder truth may be that this is our destination. And they're not coming for us; they're here already and they've always had us. % They're here! They're here! You're next! % They're here already! You're next! You're next!... % As usual, you're confusing your own opinion with fact. % `Night John-boy.' `Dammit, can't a guy masturbate around here!' % is it just my imagination, or is the one da lefft a guy? look at the big hands % Remember last month at the video store when I saw you in the porn section? I felt like you snubbed me. You ducking behind the rack didn't help matters either. % It wasn't me that you saw in the porn store. I have high speed Internet. % We are anonymous and we are legion. % Those kids kicking around people's heads like footballs will be tomorrow's government jack booted thugs. % They would have destroyed themselves anyway. They deserved what they got. % She thinks a cock looks like that? I guess she's a lesbian who didn't pay attention in biology class. % It really comes down to who can pay for the best lawyers. % The good people are hamstrung. They can only go so far before their conscience stops them. There are no such barriers for the others. % The rich get richer and the poor stay poor; dreaming of lottery tickets and alchemical gold. It never changes. It never gets old and they breed on the highway and die by the roadside. % You can't control the population if you can't convince them of what you want them to believe. When they stop believing your power wanes. % They are content to live out their lives within the restrictive limits set them by the political and corporate elite of this world. % It makes sense for psychopaths to act as they do, as such is their nature. But what about the rest of us? How is it `fear got the best of us' and why is it a paralyzing fear descends on us when we consider resistance? % Pathocracy has taken global control. % You have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Certainly there are those more responsible than others but if you're looking for the guilty you need only look into a mirror. % You know you want one of these... they're small and easy to hide from the wife... % Do unto others as they would do unto you. % You're not in Kansas any more. % I discovered salt and created FM radio. % We used to have such fun. Why isn't there any fun anymore? % Global warming has now got to the stage where it is only maintained by media self-censorship. % Carbon dioxide is a bad thing? Yeah, right. Ever wonder why they kept banging on about `carbon-based life forms' in Star Trek? % The demonisation of carbon, the very basis of all life on earth, can only be explained as a religious phenomenon. % Alcohol is not the cause: it is just one means by which the disaffected young express their defiance. % A short life and a merry one, no more: by political decree, life has to be long and grim. % The Scientific Method can't be used to empirically verify an hypothesis. The Scientific Method is a tool to reject hypotheses. % Maybe we have the issue of cherry-picking cherry-picked studies. How many cherries can a cherry-picker pick, if... % There are few problems that can't be solved with an N-frame Smith. % Liberal intellectuals are the running dogs of big business. % When in doubt empty the magazine. % I spent a week there one night. % In a world where the perception is the reality, all countries need to have the capability to manage their own perceptual alignment - otherwise someone else will. % He who molds public opinion is greater than he who enacts laws. % When they perfect cloning I'm gonna order 12 of those. % Come the revolution there will definitely need to be a full time attendant assigned to the gene pool % Women like silent men. They think they're listening. % People give directions according to what's important to them. Ask a fat woman for directions, she will give directions according to the restaurants on the way. Try it. % Frankly I'm insulted that you asked me out. It means you think we're about the same level of attractiveness. % Lately the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labour. % Uhhh Phil, you are supposed to save those little blue pills for the real thing... % Oh, you may want to shave them legs next time you skirt up. It ruins the whole thing. % Kiss and tell... they expect it. % Difference is, at least I know I'm pissin her off, she really thinks everyone should agree with her! % My sister won't go downstairs in my house because of all the dead critters on the walls. % At least it wasn't a dream where you see yourself standing in some sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you... Why am I the only one that has that dream? % It takes a crooked stick to beat a mad dog! % A pessimist is an optimist who knows the facts. % If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are. % While your method certainly worked, a simple diaper change would also have put the child out of its misery. % It's not putting women on a pedestal that's the problem it's the fact that you keep them chained there for your pleasure and against their will. % Why do I never read the small print? % It's the level of incompetence you would normally only expect from a government. % Gay CB talk. How appropriate. Hitting the 70s and gayness in one post. % Never underestimate the capabilities of a truly dedicated idiot. % When the cops give up their machine guns, I'll stop asking for mine. % Given the historical record, a world in which only the `authorities' have firearms is a world hip deep in corpses. % Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I've kinda lost track myself. % Contradiction is not a sign of falsity nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. % What to spend your stimulus money on to help the US economy... beer and prostitutes, the only things `made' in US today. % The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. % There is no fate that can not be surmounted by scorn. % Your report card reads: `Must try harder.' % Diversity is something at the office. It can work for you or against you. % Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you. % Just because you're right doesn't mean I'm wrong. % Bullets are the currency of the future... just don't give any 'change' to someone you don't trust. % The gun culture problem in America is multi-faceted and complex. At its heart, however, it is an emotional pathology because the reverence for firearms among gun enthusiasts supersedes any rational discourse on the issue. % Go back to the Rock Hudson film festival and leave me be. % Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and typewriters but self-defense only justifies bare hands. % SILENCE! I kill you! % It's beginning to look more and more like Monty Python was actually a documentary series. % We should have taken care of business long ago... you know... when ammo was cheaper... % The bombing starts in five minutes. % I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my arse. % The truth, the whole truth, *and nothing but the truth*. % What else are you gonna do, read a book? % We are preparing for the worst but for obvious reasons we hope for slow moving zombies. % People don't seek the highest offices for altruistic motives. % One should forgive one's enemies but not before they are hanged. % I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this. % I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?' % Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day. % Overkill never fails. % `Field trip.' `I call shotgun.' `I call nine millimeter.' % They make their living by manipulating people with oratory and promises. Such people do not say what they believe, they say what they need to to get what they want. % You know the definition of homosexual men we used in Chicago? `Men with small dogs who own very tidy apartments.' % You all can go to hell. I'm going to Texas. % When I grow up I wanna be a steam-shovel. % 53 years old? Oh, now I'll need a fake ID to rent Ultraporn. % In essence Spitzer had to resign because he was a hypocrite. Perhaps you wonder, as I do, about other politicians around the world being asked to resign for being hypocritical. I can't think of anyone who'd survive that either. % YOU! - OUT OF THE GENE POOL!!! % MK-ULTRA your mind under the god Gettin microwave broadcast blues % `I'd like to buy your deadliest gun, please.' `Aisle six, next to the sympathy cards.' % I don't care how I get to the dance, only that I get there. % You know Jesus was a black guy, don't you? % Prison State USA 2008: one in 100 Americans now behind bars. No other country on Earth has as high a percentage of citizens incarcerated. % A primary purpose of the educational system is to train school children in good citizenship, patriotism and loyalty to the state and the nation as a means of protecting the public welfare. % Nothing proudly says, `Made in USA' like a B-52. % When they kick in your front door How are you gonna come? With your hands on your head Or on the trigger of your gun % The only problem was I ran out of bullets. % You can't even understand what I'm saying, most of you. % The minimum that is expected of you... is to question your reality. % Deception is a state of mind and the mind of the State. % Who gets to decide what's right and wrong? % We are serfs in the New Feudal World Order. % Maybe this is just the chemtrails talking but `Conspiracy Theorists' are not crazy for wanting to expose the men behind the curtain. The real crazies are the statists blinded by the curtain of red, white, and blue. % The shadow of who I would have been calls out from the grave. % Our world is so corrupted by the deviants that people actually believe that black is white, white is black, good is evil and evil is good: witness George Bush bringing democracy to the Iraqis by force. % You can't live an authentic human life if you're part of The Machine. % You want advice? Grow up. % For the past several months the 'news' has been dominated by presidential candidates and their antics. This has tended to drown out real news, making it harder for conspiracy theorists to get a foothold. % As for disposing of a body quickly, I think we've all seen `Snatch' more times than we can count. Thank you Brick Top! % Of course, being a man, I never read instruction manuals. % The boy weeps for the end of innocence and the darkness of men's hearts. % I don't have to believe in anything. In fact I don't. % The world consists of illogical emotional people, so an emotional illogical appeal is what gets the vote. % Should you come up on what seems like a shack, and smells strongly of chicken manure (but with no chickens around), leave quickly and quietly - you probably just ran into a meth lab. % There ain't nothing you can't fix with 5 gallons of diesel and a match! % When we were dating she had no idea that I was into firearms and I had no idea she was a stupid firearms hating bitch. Oh, well. % War is supposed to be about who's right but it's really about who's left. % `Are you a Commie?' `I ain't no Commie!' `I don't want no Commies in my car. No Christians, either.' % If I wanted your stupid opinion, I'd already have beaten it out of you. % When a man is just sitting there, women seem to have the impression that he is actually thinking about some interpersonal matter. % 308 & 45 - when you care enough to send the very best. % Historically, Freedom is bought with steel not gold... % Kalashnikov: the most successful point and click interface in the world. % We didn't exactly believe your story, Miss O'Shea, we believed your 200 dollars. % With so many laws no one is innocent, they just haven't been convicted yet. % Nothing says `Obey Me' like a bloody head on a fence post. % Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to enjoy one of those delicious all-tar cigarettes. % You load sixteen tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt. Saint Peter, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go; I owe my soul to the company store... % If global warming gets any worse we'll all freeze to death. % ...a welder and silver soldering torch i keep right next to the fuel oil tank... % There are two kinds of men in this world, those with shovels who dig and those with guns. % Most people would rather swallow a brick of lies than taste a grain of truth. % Central banking is common to both Communism and Capitalism, so pervasive it barely occurs to citizens that there is a better way to create wealth than issuing public debt. % The common people easily fall a victim to a big lie, since they themselves lie in little things but would be ashamed of lies that were too big. % It should be obvious that people don't really care about other people outside their nearest and dearest. % That pipeline is under construction, two permanent bases are in place ideally situated to protect it, the leader of Afghanistan is a former Unocal Oil official and the US Ambassador to Afghanistan is another Unocal Oil official. % The grass is neither greener or better. It is just grass and it still itches. % In Florida's retirement communities, rates of sexually transmitted diseases among elderly men - who have started visiting prostitutes after taking Viagra - are soaring. % Could you be more gay? Don't answer that. % Seen from their point of view, they are historic actors who are beyond good and evil, % To remain whole, be twisted. To become straight, let yourself be bent. To become full, be hollow. % We live in a world of many illusions, the Emperor has no clothes and much of human belief and behavior is ritualized nonsense. % Assassins believed they could change things, or at least stop them in their tracks. Maybe that's why we don't have them the way we did in the Sixties. The would-be shooter puts his Mannlicher-Carcano back in the box, mumbling sadly, `What's the use?' % To my mind, McCain's the most likely senator to start a nuclear war. % It will not be known as a Detention Center or Concentration Camp. It will be referred to as a Communications Management Unit or CMU. % The National Counterterrorism Center has 775,000 names and is increasing by 20,000 a month. % At what point does a lie become the truth? % I think I'll be the judge of what makes me happy. % Only state-sanctioned happiness is allowed and any non-government approved expression of joy must be squashed. % Hume teaches us that no matter how many times you drop a stone and it falls to the floor, you never know what'll happen the next time you drop it. It might fall to the floor but then again it might float to the ceiling. Past experience can never prove the future. % But you know it's all true because they said it on TV. % The power of the Executive to cast a man into prison without formulating any charge known to the law, and particularly to deny him the judgment of his peers, is in the highest degree odious and is the foundation of all totalitarian government whether Nazi or Communist. % I'm not crazy, I'm actively irresponsible. % I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck! % Re-attach your ball-sacks ladies. % That's just not factually accurate. % When we talk of tomorrow, the gods laugh. % Are you this hostile in bed? Cause I like that. % It won't make any difference. Everything is thrashed out well in advance in forums like Bilderberg. The rest is bread and circuses. % We've been conned mightily. We've fought each other over all this rubbish. We've been very predictable sheep indeed. Always learning but never knowing. NEVER KNOWING. % We're taught not to think. That's what we're educated for. % We are self-maintained slaves. We're trained for one thing and that's work in a system to produce and consume. % We are the Sheep. They are the Good Shepherds. % The little people at the bottom of the hill, you've got to keep them in the dark, the profane. % They accept the world as it's been presented to them. % The rich have no country. % We live in a world where political power and corporate wealth are possessed by different wings of the same ruling class. It is a ruling class that presides over whole nations of people transformed by brainwashing and mild but continuous discipline from human beings to human resources. % New Thoughts, particularly those which appear to contradict current assumptions, are always painful for the mind to contemplate. % The war system makes the stable government of societies possible. It does this essentially by providing an external necessity for a society to accept political rule. % Space research can be viewed as the nearest modern equivalent yet devised to the pyramid-building, and similar ritualistic enterprises, of ancient societies. % Now get out of town. Take your dead with you. % I'm listening to what you're saying but I only hear what I want to. % I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane? % I think my mask of sanity is about to slip. % I think first impressions are so important. % Dammit! Who left that baby on the floor. % I'm a stranger everywhere. % I'm able to say things I don't mean for fun or profit. What's your super power? % Let the bone chips fall where they may. % If you set up the false dichotomy of course people will choose security over privacy - especially if you scare them first. But it's still a false dichotomy. There is no security without privacy. And liberty requires both security and privacy. % They call controlling world supplies of basic commodities `promoting democracy.' I call it the Forever War. % If privacy and security really were a zero-sum game, we would have seen mass immigration into the former East Germany and modern-day China. While it's true that police states like those have less street crime, no one argues that their citizens are fundamentally more secure. % It remains to be seen what's ahead in, `the New American Century' but the evidence so far isn't encouraging and that's putting it mildly. % Look at me! No-one is ever safe. % But then I glanced at my family sitting at the dining table in full panoply, with swimcap, diving goggles, snorkel and flippers, waiting for the apocalypse. My youngest brother looked at me through his diving goggles with hopeful children's eyes. So I ran up the stairs into my parents' room. % It's already the apocalypse of communication. The sun doesn't exist anymore. % ANYWAY, PLEASE GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY. % I just don't like Mondays. % This sure beats algebra, doesn't it? % That bullet sure wiped the smile off his face. % I'm just doing my job. % Voltaire announced the Age of Reason two centuries too soon. We are still in the Dark Ages. % No camera can show this experience because it is inside the nervous system. % Conscience is a function of our biology and irrelevant without it. % Inside us all; the fish, the lizard, the rat, the ape... all our past lives, encoded in our DNA during that headlong rush on the river out of Eden. % I will be there and you too, all of us, lost forever in time. % This is moral psychosis on a monumental scale. It is the complete and utter repudiation of every civilized ideal, of every fragment of enlightenment wrenched from the blood-drenched slagheap of human history. Yet it passes for normality in our political discourse. % Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, or whatever it is that you think you remember? % I quickly mentally reviewed the arsenal concealed under my clothing and was relieved to know that I could probably shoot my way out. % After half a dozen years of waterboarding, genital zapping, sleep deprivation and brainwashing, the Pentagon has finally found six patsies who will readily welcome their 72 virgins and take the fall for 9/11. % Be careful what you wish for - especially in a German whorehouse. % Please pardon my levity, I don't see how to take death seriously. It seems absurd. % Let me tell you how your mom did it. She told your dad to cum in her shoes and then let the flies do the rest... % Your mother is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through. % Your mother is so fat she belched and invalidated the Gravity Probe B experiment. % Whatever dude... your mother did it for money, thats how you got here... % Yeah I know, I'm nasty, and I hope no animals were harmed during the writing of this rant. % `What is the meaning of life?' `Only the living care.' % `Why does mommy cry?' `Cause you made daddy go away.' % By controlling the creation and allocation of money the ruling class maintains near total control over the lives of ordinary people and the resources of the planet. % For those tuning in late mind-controlled zombies, part of the secret military arsenal, are a well-established fact. % WOLVERINES! % Real men spend their leisure time on hobbies that don't require any significant emotional interaction with other people. % What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime. % I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. % Middle class people are ill-suited for life under a freeway overpass. They need a helping hand from government. % America's place in the world has been guaranteed not by what it produces but by what it consumes. % Never meet the enemy on his terms. % The possession and threatened use of nuclear weapons is at the heart of American political philosophy. % How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb? The light bulb didn't change - THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK! % Get the shotguns. And the C4 from the bathroom under the towels. % A real shark. I hope it's female. % Over three trillion per year missing for black ops. I say its a secret space program. % What sort of person would campaign for jury duty? Wouldn't you be suspicious of that, someone pushing to be chosen for jury duty? But being President is also akin: public service, supposedly, i.e. a thankless task. % Buy yourself some piano wire. It worked for the Italian people under Mussolini. % I dream of a world in which I can buy alcohol, tobacco, and firearms at the same drivethrough window and use them all before I get home... % Now, if you boys just apologize to my mule... % Would you rather live with unanswered questions or would you rather live with unquestioned answers? % Please, you give me too little credit. % You really couldn't make it up. The world is becoming a Monty Python sketch. % So, is it hard to get a cab around here this time of night? % America is not at war; The Marines are at war. America is at the mall. % Whereas filmmakers Kubrick, Lucas, and Spielberg once made us ponder what it means to be human, Michael Bay makes us wonder *why* human beings exist. % Yesterday is dead and gone and tomorrow may never come. % The psychopath's psychology is so profoundly alien to most people that we are unable to comprehend their motives or recognize one when we see one. Naturally, the industrious psychopath will find this to his advantage. % Most psychopaths learn to mimic the appearance of normal emotion well enough to fit into ordinary society. % He's dumber than a bag of rocks. And not regular rocks but the dumb kind. % If I'm in a virtual reality the graphics are great but the plot sucks. % Reading diet books won't make you thin. % If they can get you to ask the wrong questions they really don't care about the answers. % Live as if you'll die tomorrow. Learn as if you'll live forever. % Ride the tiger. For, as long as one keeps sitting on top of the running beast, one need not fear its claws and teeth. % The first step on the road to freedom is knowing you're being lied to. % There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. % The historical record of US terrorism and support of terrorism occasionally surfaces in the mainstream but is brushed aside on the ground that the United States has taken a new course, so that long record can be ignored. % If Al Qaeda didn't exist the United States would have had to create it, and of course it did create it back in the 1980s, as a means of destabilizing the Soviet Union. Al Qaeda's more recent role is a classic case of `blowback.' % The war on terror is an intellectual and propaganda cover, analogous, and in many ways a successor, to the departed `Cold War,' which in its time also served as a cover for imperial expansion. % The `shock and awe' strategy that opened the 2002 invasion-occupation of Iraq was openly and explicitly designed to terrorize the Iraq population and armed forces. % Much of the bombing and torture, and the attack that destroyed Falluja, have been designed to instill fear and intimidate the general population and resistance. % I set my standards pretty low so I'm never disappointed. % A man with a conviction is a hard man to change. Tell him you disagree and he turns away. Show him facts or figures and he questions your sources. Appeal to logic and he fails to see your point. % Problematical global warming is a prophecy, not a reality, so studies of what adherents to prophecies do when the evidence is against them are very relevant. % Is it a conspiracy to think that the same guys who abduct foreign nationals off the streets of cities around the world and take them to black sites - where their eyes are gouged out and their finger nails ripped off - would get squeamish over something as trivial as ballot stuffing? % Look, our elections are being run by corporations that have an obvious stake in the outcome. There's a heap of money involved and nothing is left to chance. The media's job is to make us feel like we have a choice. We don't. % Dude, you're bumming me out. % People are crazy and times are strange. % Don't worry about your friend who fell in love with that stripper and plans on returning, he's still drunk. % How can this particular set of esoteric trivia be constructed to maximize hilarity as quickly as possible? % Nobody will question the winner to find out the truth. % Children are being indoctrinated, not educated. % The final objective of New World Order: the reconfiguration of reality through the sorcery of technology. % According to quantum mechanics, the universe actually consists of much more data than could ever be observed. % Before there were hidden microphones there were confessional booths and the priests reported directly to the government. % A sort of thousand-mile stare has descended on the country. % If we can only accept things in terms of what we already understand then science is no longer an open system. % It's really simple. Zombies don't have inner experience, or qualia. Therefore they think real people don't have it either. Researchers need to learn that not everything that looks human is. % The man who has fed the chicken every day throughout its life at last wrings its neck instead, showing that more refined views as to the uniformity of nature would have been useful to the chicken. % Remember what the Dormouse said: FEED YOUR HEAD FEED YOUR HEAD % The people in America are like the Germans of the 1930s believing that they are still free. % I don't have all the answers. In fact, I don't really have many answers at all. % You do know there's a THEM don't you? % It would not be impossible to prove with sufficient repetition and a psychological understanding of the people concerned that a square is in fact a circle. They are mere words and words can be molded until they clothe ideas in disguise. % Beauty is mute, for the first time in human history and songs have fallen silent. Instead we have noise, chanting, drumbeats, and the only things heard praised are arrogance and mere ugliness. % I would totally fancy you but I'm having a hard time getting over myself... % You will never even know you are slaves. % Wherever they got this, it was modeled after somebody's program. It was not made by some guys on some goat farm outside of Kabul. % The Common People will be deceived by appearances and the end result. And the world is composed mainly of Common People. % A deceiver will always find someone willing to be deceived. % What do you say we just hit a strip joint? % So many choices. And it makes so little difference. % Not only are we to be their slaves but we must eat what they say and sit in the dark. % Sure, we massacred them. But it was for their own good. % Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. % The prognosis is not good for `the greatest Democracy on Earth.' % The entertainment factor is really prominent in this election; moreover, it has never been as obvious that the so-called 'democratic process' is simply a part of the 'bread and circus' package for the masses. % Civilization, as we know it, is largely the creation of psychopaths. All civilizations, our own included, have been based on slavery and `warfare.' The latter term is a euphemism for mass murder. % Civilized people, we are told, live peacefully and cooperatively with their fellows, sharing the necessary labour in order to obtain the leisure to develop arts and sciences. And while that would be a good idea, it is not a good description of what has been going on in the so-called advanced cultures during the past 8,000 years. % Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it. % Men must either be flattered - or eliminated. % In a country whose legal framework authorizes the government to kidnap, torture and murder them, opponents of government policy must decide whether getting out of line - anything from a letter to the editor to direct action - is worth the risk of getting kidnapped, tortured and murdered. % The human mind fails to adapt adequately to what it does not know and therefore assigns irrelevant (not merely incorrect) probabilities to what it does know. % In the end our survival on this planetary ship of fools may depend on us learning to see things as they are, rather than what we tell each other they should be. % We live in a feedback loop of perpetual postponement. For the most part, we are not even aware of what we have lost. % Throughout the ages the state has been the enabling instrument of tyrants. In the last century, it was the state that allowed fascism and communism to impose death and destruction across the globe: millions slaughtered and civilisation nearly dragged back into the abyss of a new Dark Age. % Wars re-distribute a country's money from the poor and middle class to the rich so that the wealthy stay rich and in power. % Brainwashed people will put up with sub-standard living conditions, hardship, and poverty because of a false beliefs of an afterlife and promises of eventual prosperity for future generations. Realistically the wealthy are just exploiting the masses. % There is no possible victory in defence. % Are we at last brought to such a humiliating and debased degradation that we cannot be trusted with arms for our own defence? % We've put psychotics in control of the most powerful weapons in the world. % The marginal energy gain is so small by comparison that we must accept that the biofuels agenda is primarily about genocide. % Philosophers have become no more than the keepers of useful sarcasms, for the secret is out that there is no secret of the universe. % We are not separate from what we observe; our facts are not separate from our beliefs; perception and reality are intertwined. % The American Dream never happened. The American Nightmare is here. % There's more to evolution than a little DNA. % Who is the Master who makes the grass green? % A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. So he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusion. % Your head's like mine, like all our heads; big enough to contain every god and devil there ever was. Big enough to hold the weight of oceans and the turning stars. Whole universes fit in there! But what do we choose to keep in this miraculous cabinet? Little broken things, sad trinkets that we play with over and over. The world turns our key and we play the same little tune again and again and we think that tune's all we are. % You cannot believe in honour until you have achieved it, better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world. % We have always sought explanations when it was only representations that we could seek to invent. % 1. Never believe totally in anybody else's BS. 2. Never believe totally in your own BS. % Intelligence is the capacity to receive, decode and transmit information efficiently. Stupidity is blockage of this process at any point. Bigotry, ideologies etc block the ability to receive; robotic reality-tunnels block the ability to decode or integrate new signals; censorship blocks transmission. % Do you know, that there may be no ultimate truth? % Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery. % Our world is ruled by manipulation, we are told by the media what to wear, how to eat, what pills to take, what is truth and what is illusion and when we disagree and apply critical thinking, then we are the outcast or just strange. % Fifty men have run America and that's a high figure. % Countless people will hate the New World Order and will die protesting against it. % It is often said that if the people of Germany could have been tipped off in the late twenties or early thirties to the terrors of Nazism and the horrors that awaited that they would surely have risen up collectively as a people and put a stop to it. We find ourselves at the same crossroads... % If someone is coming to kill you, they won't be using a toothpick. % ...It's all about money in this *bastard* world! Money, War and *Sex!* % The police are politically and financially corrupt. They are personally dangerous to be near. The only thing still to be said in their favour is that they are lazy and incompetent. % Democracy is in the first place introduced to control masspeople who are only allowed to transfer once in a while their voting power to elected people who then decide *over* and not *with* masspeople. % The truth does not require the support of legislation. % All the news that gives others fits to print. % Because, like other hired politicians, the new President will know the Drug War must be fought harder to keep the money and drugs flowing and everyone happy. Only in failure will there be success. % Fall under a truck and die choking on your own blood. % Always be prepared for the six foot blonde. % Psychopaths routinely offer excuses for their reckless and often outrageous actions, placing blame on others instead. % In contrast to people with psychotic disorders, such as schizophrenia, who often lose contact with reality, psychopaths are almost always rational. They are well aware that their ill-advised or illegal actions are wrong in the eyes of society but shrug off these concerns with startling nonchalance. % Liberalism cannot exist where it violates its own principles. It cannot exist where the emergency monger or the utopia salesman can obtain a suspension of rights, whether temporary or permanent. Liberty cannot be suppressed in order to defend liberalism. % Freedom is meaningless where its expression is controlled by powerful groups such as the press, the radio, the motion picture industry, churches, politicians and capitalists. % In spite of its inestimable value, science is a tool and has nothing to do with ultimate truth. Herein is the danger of science. % Today's science must forever be free to overthrow its yesterdays, otherwise it will degenerate into ancestor worship. % Whatever the universe is, we are either all or part of it by virtue of our consciousness but we do not know which. % Make no mistake about it: the Global Ruling Elite are determined to crush humanity, to make slaves of everyone and they will use any lie, any fraud, any dark and evil deed to accomplish this goal. Never forget that. % I personally accepted the fact I live in a total surveillance police state a while back. Rather than view that as a prison, I've decided to treat it like a stage. This is not a crisis, this is not a nightmare, this is just the world that you and I happen to live in. % If they shut the Straits of Hormuz you'd better have your canned food and shotguns ready. % I wonder if her blood runs slowly or is it thick like ketchup? % `Could I look that tasty?' `Only with chips.' % Only a crisis, actual or perceived, causes a real change. % The dark ages still reign over all humanity and the depth and persistence of this domination are only now becoming clear. % This Dark Age's prison has no steel bars, chains, or locks. Instead, it is locked by disorientation and built from misinformation. % We are powerfully imprisoned in these Dark Ages simply by the terms in which we have been conditioned to think. % I'm going to go have breakfast. A lot of the inmates bitch about it but, actually, the food here is really good. % The worst they can do is kill you. % You're always being monitored. % You're either helping people escape or you're keeping them in. % The voices are back. Excellent. % HUMANITY IS OVERRATED % I come here to dump bodies, not beer bottles. Now I'm just a litterbug. % In Chess or Go, every wasted move is a loss; in rationality, any non-evidential influence is (on average) entropic. % Scientific and engineering breakthroughs themselves aren't the important thing, what really matters is how we fit them into our lives. % There are lies, damned lies, statistics, and then there's Wikipedia. % Is even Hell with statutes paved? % Anyone can kill anyone, even the President. % Perpetual war - the purpose is to kill us all off leaving 20% globally, deliberately brain damaged as a subservient underclass. That way we can never threaten the elite power base. Of the slave underclass only the beautiful and attractive will be allowed to live, so the elite will have a never ending supply of innocence to abuse. % Normal waking consciousness is the product of a true hypnotic procedure that is practiced by parents, teachers, and peers, reinforced by every social interaction, and maintained by powerful taboos. % How can anybody distinguish between dream, hypnotic trance, and reality? % Most humans are stumbling around in mutually-reinforcing trances and it takes a great deal of effort, thought, and time to escape from the trances. % Masters and their wage slaves now threaten the planet with atomic and environmental destruction. % The gangster families who secretly control humanity through corporations, foundations, governments, religions and secret societies for their own greedy, selfish and ultimately destructive ends no longer use food and simple propaganda to control the masses. Instead they control the money supply, the mass media and the public education system. % The chilling truth is that America and the rest of the world is a sophisticated slave society run by sophisticated gangster families. % Once you realize of how little consequence you are in the immensity of time you gain a great power, a liberty, and you can follow your own path in peace. % The human brain is a complex organ with the wonderful power of enabling man to find reasons for continuing to believe whatever it is that he wants to believe. % I never met another man I'd rather be. And even if that's a delusion, it's a lucky one. % When you get to cultural patterns, belief systems, and the like, the guess of the next guy you meet at the bus stop is about as good as that of the best scientist. Nobody knows anything. % They have demonstrated more potently than any argument, demonstrated beyond a question of a doubt, the appalling dangers and enormous effectiveness of popular and theatrical demagoguery. % I can believe anything provided it is incredible. % History may not repeat itself, but it rhymes. % Here were sworn enemies, the leaders who beat the shit out of each other all day in public but, the minute those doors closed for the state dinner, the daggers went away and it was one big happy family... Everybody was crossing the aisles and chuckling, and I said, 'Oh, I get it! It really is just a game.' % If you are getting frazzled by all the crises, wait until Saturday. If it is really a crisis, then it will be all over the news then. % Make sure others know not to mess with you. % I wonder about what they will think and do when they hear the machine guns chattering. % Blackwater: coming soon to your neighborhood. % None of them have studied the affair at all but they are experts none-the-less. They know what they know even when they don't know it. % Let's make a bargain. You ask God for help and I'll stop the moment He shows up. % If you're not living on the edge you're taking to much room. % A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never. % It's literally a no-win scenario... unless someone wins. % Why is there no-one in my head who knows what to do? % All bridges must be burned. There's no turning back. The past is another country. % Eloquence consists of persuading people of things they desperately want to believe. % Does consciousness merely perceive reality or does it create reality or does it modify a pre-existing reality? % That may be true in theory but in the real world... % The roots of consciousness exist in ancient neural territories we share with all vertebrates. % Religion and spirituality are not mutually dependent terms. God is larger than the constructs of thought that we build for him. % I'd rather die of heat than eat less meat. % See the happy moron, He doesn't give a damn! I wish I were a moron. My God! Perhaps I am! % Have you ever confused a dream with life? % You just don't have the type of brotherly love that I feel comfortable participating in. % Every time I read stories like this I die a little, inside. % They should go back to their ancestral pursuits of whoring, drinking, gambling, hunting and being beastly to their servants and leave the rest of us alone. % When I look now at some state occasion, I am no longer carried back to an earlier age of freedom and independence. I see only men in silly hats and uniforms putting on a show for the gullible. % Get this straight: yes, governments will kill their own people. % Fighting fire with fire is a standard firefighting technique. % They spotted Bin Laden in the mall with Elvis, in Vegas. % It will be recognised that humans cannot control the climate and must adapt as they have done for millennia to its continual changes. % It is four times more energy-efficient for Londoners to buy lamb imported from New Zealand than to buy it from a producer in their backyard. % Clearly the federal government no longer cares much about providing for health, education, hurricane reconstruction or even bridge safety, as the military budget now dwarfs all other discretionary spending despite the lack of a sophisticated enemy in sight. % A wide variety of evidence suggests that we are only beginning to understand the importance of embodiment in information processing by the brain. % Dr Wolman believes that our society is already showing evidence of an `epidemic of sociopaths' and says he wrote his book as a `wake up call.' % The most dangerous psychopath of all is the educated, socially adept psychopath. % Those who cannot love want power. % Finding a needle in a haystack isn't hard when every straw is computerized. % `See you at the next bloodbath?' `I never miss a party.' % Take responsibility for your own life, which includes seeing the truth of the world you live in. % By now, we all surely know that if they want the intelligence to show that Country X is a `grave' and `growing' threat, they will find it or manufacture it. So once you're debating what the intelligence shows or fails to show, the debate is over. The war will inevitably begin. % Fighting for humanity is a losing battle waged on behalf of herd animals who will be cheering when you get crucified, or beaten to death on pay-per-view. % Polls are only useful in the negative. In other words, they're only giving you actual information when you ask about what people don't know. % Once you really understand Stockholm Syndrome and social entrainment, you'll never look at human relationships the same way again. % Social control is just rich people herding human cattle and so, logically enough, stampedes are a major concern. % Here's a free secret: the US government actually doesn't know shit about UFOs that you can't learn by reading some Jacques Vallee and Richard Dolan. They're covering up because they don't actually know what's going on with UFOs. % A huge swath of our economy is now devoted to preparing for war, making war, and cleaning up after war. % The ruling class relies on academics, scholars and 'experts' to legitimize and provide moral authority for its hegemony over the masses. % The ruling class has many manifestations. It can take the form of a religious orthodoxy, a monarchy, a dictatorship of the proletariat, outright fascism, or, in the case of the United States, corporate statism. % The history of mankind is a history of the subjugation and exploitation of a great majority of people by an elite few by what has been appropriately termed the 'ruling class'. % Extraterrestrial aliens will have long left mechanism behind. They will have transformed to pure media dimensions. % In this case however there is no physical product; the product is a state of mind. % In a Web and Media age, the idea of `facts' should be replaced by the idea of warring information systems battling for Prime Time. % The idea of Fortean percentages can change our entire framework of perception and allow us to enter systems locked against the absolutism of finite rationalisations. % I'm just finishing up a little project but I'll come over later. % I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask, not just me. % There is a difference between accurately relating true events and accurately relating fabricated events that one has been manipulated into believing to be true. % Unless we announce disasters, no one will listen. % There can be only one tiger to a hill. % The stark contrast between the tranquil, recycling, carbon-neutral world of the new establishment imagination and the brutal jungle they have actually created is destined to be the enduring quality of our age. % Famines kill because the distribution system fails, not because there isn't enough food grown somewhere in the world. % If you don't know how to use a compass or first-aid kit, having one in your car won't do you much good. % The most horrifying reality of the illusions to which I am referring is the pain that innocent people are suffering because so many people in America are congregated together in the 51st State - the State of Denial. % Perhaps it's just as likely that our first conversation with extraterrestrials will take the form of a complex psychosocial experiment. % Hey snaggletooth! Can you open my can of beer? % Not only are banknotes no longer backed by gold; the bulk of money isn't even backed by banknotes. % One should keep in mind that there is nothing more difficult to execute, nor more dubious of success than to introduce a new system of things; for he who introduces it has all those who profit from the old system as his enemies, and he has only lukewarm allies in all those who might profit the new system. % They are vicious warmongers, believers in torture, and murderers of innocent people. We have known of such people around the world in the 20th century. We just didn't expect to find them here amongst us and in positions of power. But they are. % We need to realise that if the authorities want to mislead us, there is probably very little we can do about it. % It will eventually be shown that the UFO cover-up has been the most successful deception campaign in human history. % It's a simple matter of accentuating the positive - of steering away from issues of competence and toward the healing political balm of mass public fear. % It really was a wizard prang. % It can take sometimes take a week to get a new hire to learn that logging in with CAPS LOCK on won't work. % The truthful, well-weighed answer that tells the blacker lie. % The Rapture is coming! Santa will save me! % And that can be authenticated. % Beware of what and who you trust. % Every civilisation or empire that has come before us - *every one* - has collapsed, leaving death and destruction in its wake. % Fully acknowledge and internalize that the culture of Empire is destroying the support systems on which the community of life depends and robbing us of our essential humanity. % The US and world economies are on the brink of collapse due to the lunacy of the financial system, not because we can't produce enough. % Hippies believed they were gonna change the world. Funny how well *that* turned out. % Shoppers in a US convenience store stepped over a woman dying from stab wounds with one stopping only to take a picture on a mobile phone. % And that's basically the story of every nation in the world: we're all being run by the most violent, ruthless and powerful people in our respective countries. That's all borders are: ask your history teacher. % The country you live in is full of dangerous people who are mentally insane. % We are being visited by aliens, we are unable to control our skies, we do not know if they are friendly, and we have no idea what they are doing. % Everyone in the world is living a lie. % No king or emperor from the past ever attempted to heckle, harass and regulate the personal behavior of his subjects the way our bureaucracy does now. % These are the types who would make perfect, unquestioning, model citizens in any society in which they were brought up. Young Pioneers, Hitler Youth, Red Guards, whatever, just spoonfeed them the State pap of the day and they'd regurgitate it. % The ideal tyranny is that which is ignorantly self-administered by its victims. The most perfect slaves are, therefore, those which blissfully and unawarely enslave themselves. % There is a glamour in unrestrained evil that even I cannot resist. % Bombing for Peace! % The economy is based on the development and production of the machinery of warfare, and the consequences of world peace breaking out would be economically disastrous. % The system, even though it's legal, is ethically corrupt. % As a firm believer in science and reason, I strive to distinguish clearly between what I can prove and what I merely know is true. % You can't fix stupid. % The vast majority of human beings on this planet are out of their minds. They obey invisible monsters, they're infected with language viruses, and they're all willing to kill you over beliefs they don't even understand. % The most important component of any successful event is lots of friendly, good-looking women in the critical 20-to-35 age range. % They're already here. % You've lied so much you've forgotten what the truth is. % The internet is a new battleground of mass-social psych-ops. % We are a hungry high tech civilization and culture yearning for Gods capable beyond our technology. We especially yearn since our pre-high-tech era religions are not equipped to really assuage the high tech mind. % The job is not to stop the aliens, since we can't, but to work with the aliens to continue to institutionally deny their genuine existence here on Earth to keep status quo civilization intact. % STOP! THIS DOCUMENT IS A CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER TO THE MENTAL HEALTH OF UNSTABLE PERSONS % The internet is to the techno-capable disaffected what the United Nations is to marginal states: it offers the illusion of empowerment and community. % If you have the Creator of the Universe on your side, and you know The Truth about the Cosmos ... and yet my stoned sarcasm is enough to offend you ... it's time to seriously re-examine your beliefs, folks. % Smart tyrants stay hidden and manipulate the population into first defeating and enslaving itself. % To never have to use a weapon, have one handy. % Let's face it: those who strive for power are also those most likely to abuse it. % Peer Review now often means that a paper has been subjected to censorship by a close-knit community of like-minded believers. % We thought we could predict the future... but we couldn't even predict what was going to happen in this room. % Capitalism is ingesting global warming as happily as a python swallowing a piglet. % The glass half full is the optimist's view, the glass half empty the view of the pessimist. But to an engineer the glass is too big. % I can trust those who hate me because I know that they are out to get me. It's the people who say they're my friends I worry about. % Hope is the last refuge of the defeated. % Perhaps the reason we are so eager to reject any departure from this fiction we call 'normality' is because we have grown dependent on our comfortable delusions; without them there is nothing to insulate us from the harsh cold of reality. % We're cockroaches living under a kitchen sink and we don't even realize there's a city around us. % The greatest challenge facing mankind is the challenge of distinguishing reality from fantasy, truth from propaganda. % They make a wilderness and call it peace. % The fastest-growing occupation in the UK between 1992 and 1999 was hairdressing. % I've watched America go from robotic car washes to '100% hand wash' over the last 25 years. % Zombie Girl ate my brains. % He's the evil of two lessers. % The more you know, the more you know you don't know. % You're out of shape, even for an American. % Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic. % 'Johnny quit talkin about Kennedy, man. Let it go. It was a long time ago, would you just forget it?' I'm like, 'Alright. Then don't bring up Jesus to me.' % Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting and drinking. If you cheat, may it be a death; if you steal, may it be a heart; if you fight, may it be for your Brother; and if you drink, may it be with me. % Look at it this way: in a hundred years, who's gonna care? % There never was an exit strategy - fourteen permanent bases are under construction, that was always the plan. % Eisenhower must be rolling over in his grave. % Puritanism - the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. % Real science does not talk about facts; it talks about observations, which might turn out to be inaccurate or even irrelevant. % It is humanity hanging from a cross of iron. % When it takes out of life the moments to which life owes its value, science will not deserve admiration, however cleverly and however elaborately it may lead men along the road to despair. % The music industry has been dying a slow, agonized and completely hilarious death for about five years now, and it will probably be another decade before its cancerous heart finally stops pounding. % You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow... When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths, or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt. % Disgruntled socialists are finding rebirth in environmentalism. % Santa Claus DOES NOT masturbate, you lying bastard! Take it back! Take it BAAAACK!!! I'm pretty sure the Easter Bunny climbed up the open leg of my shorts one time, tho'... % He's saying you know it's true, we have all been stripped of our very souls. % And behold joy and gladness, slaying oxen, and killing sheep, eating flesh, and drinking wine: let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die. % I would ask which human beings - where and when - are to be accorded the privilege of deciding that this particular climate that we have right here today, right now is the best climate for all other human bein